How to switch from being desperate to desirable


Desire: The starting point of all achievement – Napoleon Hill

It’s part of our human nature to be accepted, valued, desired and loved. We usually approach a work contract, job or romantic interest with the right intention to make a good impression. And, so we should! However, at times we cross over into displaying desperate behaviour which doesn’t serve us well.

Showing signs of desperation is usually not a good thing, specifically during a job interview, landing a new contract, client, or a romantic interest. It’s a turn off, seen as needy, a sign of weakness and very rarely do you end up getting and keeping what you really want.

I’m sure we’ve all found ourselves on this path – unintentionally., and later felt like a tool when we revisit how we showed up, and understood why there was no follow up, call for a second date, offered the job, or signing of the contract.

Some desperate behaviours to avoid:

  • Always available – display of over eagerness
  • Grovelling – offering to take a job for a lower pay and lowering your standards
  • Being clingy – constantly checking in on your romantic interest
  • Self-promotion – blatant with fabrication of overselling
  • Excuses, excuses – dismissing forms of abuse for fear of being alone
  • Planning ahead – verbalizing plans before the probation period is over, or on the first date.

Some desirable behaviours to practice:

  • Be unavailable sometimes – let the person know you have a life outside of them
  • Show passion – about why you are ideal for the job, or contract (qualities you bring)
  • Say no sometimes, it’s healthy – you’re not going to be a fit for every client, job or romantic interest…and possibly better opportunities will come along.
  • Express interest – ask specific questions about the person or company
  • Display value – (do your research) share what you know about the company
  • Be confidently engaged – listen intently, make eye contact (not staring), relax in your body, avoid fidgeting, and if you’re clear about what’s said, ask for clarification.

By making the mental decision to show up, and practice desirable behaviours you leave a memorable impression, with no or little room for desperate behaviours to surface.

Even if you don’t seal the deal, at least you can walk away with your integrity intact knowing you’ve done your best, and remain true to who you are.

Making desperate decisions usually backfires, if you can identify with any of the desperate practices, make the decision to go the desirable path instead, and drop me a line to tell me about it.

To BEing your better self.