Our Wednesday word is REJECTION
It’s bitter sweet. Bitter when we get it and sweet when we give it, or so it seems. When we’re on the receiving end of rejection we usually react before responding because of either shock, or disappointment.
When we’re dishing it, given the type of rejection – a breakup or job loss it’s usually preplanned. Don’t buy into the lies that someone just “woke up” and decided they’re out of love with you, or your position is no longer needed. It was preplanned!
Rejection is part of the human experience
Rejection is unavoidable, it can help remind you of your values, establish new ones, re-evaluate the ones you have and trash old ones. Rejection can also pave new paths to lead you towards something or someone better. Or it can be devastating especially when we’re convinced we “have the job or promotion”, or “feel really happy and secure in a relationship.
During the period of grieving the loss of being rejected the thought of “this could actually be a good thing” will never be entertained and why should it? And how absurd for my friend or partner to utter those words? They obviously don’t care about me.
Rejection is about someone saying NO to you, it’s being DENIED
We get it from our partner, no! What? “But I thought…?” No. We hear it from business partners, those we’d like to collaborate with, and we give it. Being denied something or someone you want and or feel you deserved. No two ways about it – it sucks to be rejected.
The first time I got rejected by a prospect I was hoping to gain as as client I was devastated. Yes, because I felt I was present and asked the right questions and come on who in their right mind won’t want to work with me?☺ However from the perspective of the individual they were seeking something else and selected another coach.
If I carried that around my practice today would be nonexistent. I will never be everything to everyone neither will you and that means we’re going to be rejected. Whew! That’s a relief.
There are various degrees of rejection – some are like paper cuts and some cut to the bone or heart.
The quickest way to overcome rejection is to admit you’ve been rejected, talk about how you feel and depending on the severity and impact on your day to day life you might consider getting professional help. That’s called HEALING or GETTING OVER IT! The worst thing you can do it to internalize it and relive the rejection over and over again, as is the case of http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5678909/Dragons-Den-rejection-burns-BrewDog-despite-1-8billlion-success.html Yes, we can move on externally but we still drag around the sting of rejection like our childhood blanket or toy.
Rejection is meant to build and not demise or dismiss you
What would become of Oprah and J.K Rowling if they let rejection win? Oprah was told “she was unfit for television news” and the message J.K Rowling heard at least a dozen times was “get a day job”.
Rejection: Shines light on your values and beliefs – in essence it forces you to check in internally and confirm what you really want and who you really are. If you just want to “fit in” or “be like so and so”. Do you really want to hang out with a crowd or be friends with those who bully and constantly gossip about others at school or work? Do you want to be in a relationship and build a life with someone who trashes you despite their esthetic appeal? If you can permit yourself to see it, rejection could be a gift in disguise to guide you to follow or create your own path and be true to you.
It builds tenacity – The denials, decline, and turned backs, does not DENY what you believe you are capable of and who you are. You dig your heels in despite the sting and keep moving ahead. There isn’t only one door to the career you want. There isn’t one person designed only for you to be with. There isn’t only one way. You figure it out, you feel it, you deal, you find your way.